How To Be An Effective Stalker

This, Misery has taught us all. We now know what a stalker is, exactly. We would have never known what a stalker was if it wasn't for Misery. Here are her own methods:

How to be an effective Stalker

Arrogance is the key, you must believe you are the gift to this earth.

Be an effective user, you should have at least 10 random people who don't even know you, supporting you.

Whine alot, show what a good victim you are!

When you feel that your *true* self has shown though... that's when the stalking part kicks in.

Good timing is a must! Try the squatters method first, stake your claim on your stalkee's house, website, profile, etc! If your stalkee's calls the police... resist!!! Run upstairs, or to imaginary detectives, mafia bosses and imaginary friends, and force them to chase you! Don't give in! You have claimed this house, website, etc. to be your own!

Whine as the police, administrators, and such physically remove you from your stalkee's home, website, etc.

Find another home to squat at. Continue your stalking from that home, website, etc. Harass your stalkee's all night long... if your stalkees' ignores your email, IMs and dozens of abusive profiles at MySpace, Yahoo or other networks, create new ones - don't give in!

Write everyone you know (including a celebrity) whining about your online name (on the stalkee's website) being deleted. Just for being a nasty troll and trying to have her thrown out of her own house, website, etc! Such an injustice!

Call your stalkee's at all hours of the day and night, leave dirty messages... but use *some* creativity! Your stalkee's should be hurt, not amused at your immature attempt (and record it for all to laugh at)!

Continue to whine of your unfair treatment to everyone you know. Ignore the fact that they are tired of your victim stories! Never give up! Your psychotic personality is your only friend.

Never admit that you were wrong! (You may just start to believe it)!